A month ago, I lost my dream job I had wished for since I was in grade school.

For the past five years, I’ve written and been an on-air personality for ESPN in the world of esports, a rapidly growing compartment of the fruitful video game business that only grows bigger every year. It was everything I had wished for and more, becoming colleagues with personalities and writers that I had been a fan of since watching them on television growing up.

When I learned it was ending and that the department I helped grow from day one, esports, was…

League of Legends World Championship final in Incheon, South Korea (credit: Riot Games)

2018 couldn’t have started better for me. At midnight, surrounded by friends and people I’ve come to know through the zany world that is esports, I kissed the girl who I thought I’d be together with for years to come. She was way smarter than me, interested in my hobbies, wasn’t in the esports scene (major plus), and she accepted my quirks, positive and negative.

That night, we made it official.

Five nights later, waking up to head off to the inaugural Overwatch League media day down near Universal Studios, she woke me up with a phone call. Over the…

I’ve been pretty open with my life through posts like these and social media. I’m a 26 writer who lives in Los Angeles who works for ESPN and writes about competitive gaming for a living. On the surface, it seems pretty great. There really isn’t anything behind the curtain. I love my job. I love the people I meet through my job. I’ve had nothing but support from my bosses and management in the two-plus years I’ve worked at ESPN, and I hope to continue there for many more years.

But I have severe depression, and although for all intents…

I get the question all the time. Through Tweets. Through DMs when I ever open up to the public. When I’m at events.

“How did you start writing? How did you begin in esports?”

“How do I start out in esports? How do I get a job in esports?”

To be honest, when I first started writing back about esports full-time, all the way back in 2011 — That’s six years ago! Some NA LCS fans aren’t even that old yet — I never thought about writing in esports to be a career path.

You had trail blazers like Richard…

Around this time last year, I announced my departure from theScore after a year of working for the publication. A few weeks later into the new year (now known as “The worst year ever” by people I see on television and social media), I revealed that I had been hired to be the lead writer for ESPN’s expansion into competitive gaming, more commonly known as esports or “eSports” for people who like to live life on the edge.

It’s kind of weird even now thinking about working for ESPN. When I was 11, I was one of those kids that…

“Fifteen minutes,” says a disembodied voice from behind. I know the voice, but I can’t remember the face it belongs to. All I can think about is what is in front of me — in front of all us.

I want to vomit.

Our coach and analysts stand in the middle of the room giving us last minute talks about the match about to take place. “He’s going to pick — “ says our head analyst, yet, at this moment, all I can think about is my heart breaking through my chest with every second counting down before showtime.


I should be sleeping. It’s 4:00 AM in the morning (or do people classify this as night?) on a Wednesday. I have to finish up preparing all my travel and paperwork for my travels to the World Championships that start next week. I have a lot of pieces to write about in the coming week about teenagers playing video games for millions of dollars. I should be sleeping.

But I can’t. I lay in my bed, listening to the same music I’ve listened to a thousand times before. I try a few of my favorite podcasts, and their words, regardless…

So nine months ago, about a week or so it’d be announced I would be working for ESPN, I wrote a piece on Medium about living in the video gaming/esports journalism space with a mental illness. Social anxiety has plagued me for a majority of my life since I was a kid — can we please abolish middle school? — and it was now affecting me in my career in wanting to be a writer.

One of the main reasons why I left theScore for ESPN was wanting to challenge myself and change up my life. There were times where…

Whenever I open DM’s, do an ask.fm, or anything pertaining to taking questions from people, 90% of the time it’s someone asking me how to break into esports journalism or content creation.

What’s the secret?

What advice would you give someone who is a junior in high school and wants to be an esports journalist for a place like ESPN, theScore, Yahoo, etc.?

While I usually don’t answer most of these messages because I’m busy and a terrible human being who is heartless with no love for his readers, I’m making this blog — wow, I’m so trendy — to…

Anxiety sucks.

Imagine walking into a room with people and feeling out of place the minute you step foot in the door. You hear two people laughing beside you, most likely about some stupid Tweet by a mutual friend, and the first thought enters your head is that they must be making a joke about you. Paranoia. Feeling uncomfortable. Wanting to be anywhere in the world except there with people who probably didn’t even give you a second glance but you can’t help but think are judging you in their heads.

Ever since I was in middle school I’ve had…

The eSports Writer

i write things and stuff for a living

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